You're Still Here
by SparkELee
Summary: Set during and after Snow Day... What if it had gone differently? Click... Give it a shot.
1. Didn't We Almost Have It All?

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

You're Still Here

Chapter One: Didn't We Almost Have It All

_He's going to be OK. He's fine. He's probably not even hurt. It's Danny… He's dealt with everything… He can deal with this. STOP WORRYING._

Lindsay hurried to the scene, unable to push down the nagging feeling of dread. She forced herself to resist the tears that were forming at the corners of her eyes. There was no reason for tears, there was no time for tears.

Danny sat panting in the hollowed out trailer, every muscle and bone in his body screaming in pain. _Just hang in there a little longer._ He reminded himself that this was nearly over. He watched the heavily armed men standing a few feet from him.

He readied the chemical solution as one of them turned and headed towards him, his intentions unknown.

He uncapped the solution and just as the man got to him, he lunged forward and sloshed it in the man's eyes.

"AHHHHH!" The man screamed, dropping his weapon and clawing furiously at his eyes.

The other man turned at the cry of his partner. He swiftly placed his gun to his shoulder and fired just as Danny picked up the dropped weapon and aimed.

They fired at the same time.

Two worlds went black.

Outside, Flack heard the shots and the team proceeded with their attack, guns drawn.

Adam came rushing out as he heard NYPD screaming at the masked officers. "They're police officers!!" He exclaimed, yanking off their masks.

Flack and Lindsay glanced at each other, both breathing a small sigh of relief, only to have it cut short by Adam.

"Danny… He's been shot…" The tech trailed off, his tone hopeless and low.

Lindsay rushed back to the hollowed out trailer, her blood running cold at the sight of Danny in a crumbled heap on the floor.

_God no… Oh God, please… don't… _

THERE YA GO. CHAPTER 1.

OK so you probably don't love me. And I understand that. I'm torturing you. And it's going to be a long road. I hope you stay on it with me.

Song: Didn't We Almost Have it All – Whitney Houston

I picked this song as the title because, well, they were so close….


	2. One Night Only

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 2: One Night Only

She hurried to his side, shoving the lifeless body of the slain gang member out of the way.

She knelt down beside him, her eyes searching for signs of life as she placed her fingers to his neck, silently praying for a sign of life.

She waited…. Nothing. She moved to his wrist, pressing hard, willing him to have a pulse. Still there was nothing….

"Oh God…." She whispered, unable to keep the devastation out of her voice.

Flack was right behind her, saying nothing, mostly because words escaped him at this point.

The paramedics chose that moment to rush the trailer. They moved Flack and Lindsay aside and set about trying to save a life.

Lindsay swallowed a lump in her throat. _Maybe I wasn't looking for his pulse in the right place. Maybe I missed it._

A moment later, the swift movements of the paramedics halted. Their heads dropped momentarily.

_Oh God… No, please… Don't…_

One of the paramedics turned to her, meeting her eyes. After a moment, he spoke. "I'm sorry."

Lindsay turned to Flack, tears filling her eyes. She bit her lip and shook her head. Danny was gone.

He felt his stomach turn and his head was spinning. Tears pricked his eyes. Without even thinking, he pulled Lindsay toward him, wrapping her in his arms.

There was no hesitation on her part, she returned the firm grasp. They needed each other. Because, to each of them, the other was the only bit of Danny left.

That was how Mac, Stella and Hawkes found them 15 minutes later.

Flack saw them first. He gently coaxed Lindsay to her feet and moved her towards the group. He cleared his throat and delivered the news.

"He… He was shot. It was fatal." He said stoically, feeling Lindsay heave a silent sob into his shoulder.

"I'm taking her home." He informed them, steering her out of the warehouse, knowing that her continued presence would wreak havoc on her mental status.

Stella went to Danny's lifeless body, standing over him, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She abruptly turned and ran square into Mac, who stopped her from running.

"Don't. Don't run." He told her, pulling her into a tight hug, allowing his own pain the release it needed.

Sheldon turned, his hands balling into fists, his eyes closed tightly, he was unable to speak, to think. Danny was gone. He was gone. He wasn't going to be there anymore.

Hours later, Mac had collected himself and made the necessary calls. Danny's grief ridden mother was on her way in from Staten Island. Stella was long gone, at home. Sid had insisted on doing the autopsy himself, not even allowing Peyton to help, explaining that Danny was like a son to him and nobody else was to be trusted with such a task.

Hawkes was gone, having left shortly after his arrival at the scene, no one had seen him since.

Flack was with Lindsay still. He'd called an hour earlier. "She's sitting in the shower. I can hear her cryin' Mac. I don't know what to do." He told the older man. The pain was evident in his voice.

Mac knew Danny had been close to Flack for a long time, they were best friends as far as they were concerned. He also knew Danny had grown quite close to Lindsay in the past few months.

Danny was gone… Right now, those two needed each other. "You can be there. That's all you can do. Just don't leave her alone…" Mac told the man before they ended the call.

He turned to the window and hung his head. It was all too much. He was losing his team. Danny had been his project. He'd watched the young man come up from the callous, cocky man-child into a smart, confident and capable young man.

"I'm so sorry." A voice peeped from the door. He knew without turning around who it was. He cared deeply for Peyton, but now was not the time.

"Thank you." He choked out, still not turning in his seat.

"Can I do anything?" She asked, entering the room.

He shook his head. "Right now, I need to be alone." He told her.

Her clicking heels stopped. "Right." She replied softly. With that, she turned and he heard her heels clicking as she left.

Flack was at a loss. She'd locked herself in the bathroom, claiming she was going to take a shower. But it had been over an hour and he could hear her sobs. Mac's advice echoed in his ears.

He pulled himself off the couch and headed to the bathroom. He silently turned the knob, slightly surprised when it opened. She must've forgotten to lock the door.

He heard her soft sobs as he stepped into the bathroom. He peeked into the shower stall and saw her.

She was curled up, knees drawn to her chest, her arms wrapped around her, her head resting on her knees. Her hair was matted to her head and her arms, the water splashing off her body as she cried. He felt part of himself breaking as he watched her break down.

He grabbed a big towel from the rack and reached in and turned off the shower. She barely noticed.

He slid the door open and quickly wrapped her in it. She stood, holding the towel around herself and trying to wipe her eyes as she stepped out.

"I… I shouldn't care this much. We only had one night. We'd only just started." She hiccupped softly.

"Doesn't matter Linds. It doesn't matter." He whispered as he led her out. He pulled back the covers on her bed and she sank into it, the towel still wrapped around her. After the covers were pulled over her, he took the towel.

"I could've loved him." She rasped, her eyes temporarily dry.

"You could have. He could've loved you too." Flack told her simply, unsure of what else he could say.

She nodded and turned on her side.

"The couch is comfortable." She whispered hoarsely.

_She needs me to stay. He'd want me to stay if she wanted me to._

"Ok." He replied softly. He clicked off her light and shut the door.

He kicked off his shoes, grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, and tried to get some sleep.

REVIEW 

So, it's going to pick up. It's going to have some twists and turns, ups and downs. I have big plans for this story. Feel like hangin' in there with me? I hope so.

Song: One Night Only – Jennifer Hudson.

I chose this because it seemed obvious. They got one real legitimate night together, that was it. Nothing more. They both wanted so much more than that, but neither could have known what was going to happen.


	3. Pain In My Heart

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 3: Pain In My Heart

Sleep was not to be had by anyone that night.

Lindsay clenched herself into a tiny little ball, sobbing into her pillow, hoping the down trodden detective on her couch couldn't hear her.

Flack lay on her couch, sprawled out, listening to Lindsay muffle her sobs, his heart aching, feeling what she felt…. His memories were forcing his eyes to stay open, haunting him with all his past moments with Danny…. Haunting him with the realization that he'd never see his best friend ever again.

Mac never went home. He sat, in his desk chair, and watched the sunset. Several hours later, he watched it rise. He never moved, he never flinched. He just watched, waited, prayed to God that it was some awful dream, and then, when he realized this wasn't the case, he prayed for strength, he'd need it, if he was going to keep them together.

Stella cried in anguish and in anger for the man that had become like a brother to her. Her little brother. Her Danny. He got her. She got him. Now she was alone. She was losing everyone, in some form or another. She'd lost Aidan to a vicious killer… She was sure she'd lost Frankie somewhere along the way, before she killed him… Soon after, she lost Mac to Peyton… Now this… This was just too much to bear.

Hawkes did what he did best. He worked. He processed, he poured himself into his work, this was all he had. And he needed it now more than ever.

Finally, at 7 am, Mac received word on Danny's funeral arrangements. The next day Danny would be laid out. 24 hours and he'd put another CSI in the ground. Another friend gone. Another family member lost.

He'd already seen to it that his team was off for funeral leave, which only gave them a week, but he wanted to see them, tell them in person. He needed to.

He paged them all to Danny's favorite restaurant, just a few blocks south of the lab. He knew he couldn't really penalize them for not showing, but he hoped they did. They needed each other, and it was his job to see his team through.

With the pages sent, he rose and grabbed his coat, shutting off his lights. He headed down to the restaurant to wait.

Hawkes glanced at his pager. _"Dino's. 8 am." _ Danny's favorite place. He braced his hands on the table in front of him, lowering his head, allowing himself a moment of grief. Then, after collecting himself, he stepped back. He closed up the evidence he'd been processing and stowed it away.

He sighed softly, grabbed his coat and headed out, knowing that as much as he didn't want to do this, it was for Danny. And right now, he'd do just about anything to bring him back.

Stella fumbled for her pager, which was vibrating on her floor, still attached to her pants. After hours of angry crying, she'd finally fallen into a restless sleep around 4 am. She squinted at the words. _"Dino's. 8 am." _From Mac. She was tempted to chuck her pager across the room and forget she'd ever gotten the notice. But obviously it was related to Danny, and she needed to do something, be a part of something…. She threw on jeans and an over sized sweatshirt, shoving her feet into soft brown moccasins. She grabbed her purse and sunglasses and left.

Flack and Lindsay were still in their separate spaces, both unsure of what to do… Unsure of what the other would say… And unwilling to take the chance. But the simultaneous pages made it harder to pretend the other one didn't exist.

Her pager was in her purse. She drank in the words. _"Dino's. 8 am."_

Her gut reaction was to say she wasn't going. But the other part of her wanted to go, be around his people, feel his presence as much as possible. And she was willing to bet Flack would go and would practically insist she do the same.

She donned sweatpants and a hoodie and shoved her feet into tennis shoes. She exited her room 5 minutes later only to find Flack in his pants and button down. It was untucked and half undone. His hair was a mess, but there was no time for that, as he was re-attaching his pager to his belt. "Ready?" He asked, grabbing his keys.

She could manage only a nod as she passed by him. She picked up her bag, and phone as Flack opened the front door for her. She locked the door and they walked to the truck in silence. He opened the door for her, his eyes, behind the dark aviator sunglasses, studied her face. He recognized the pain in her expression. He was fairly sure he felt exactly how she looked.

Mac settled at the table, ordering coffees for everyone. He stirred his, taking occasional sips, his gaze focused on the world going by outside the window. Part of him felt angry. The world hadn't even noticed Danny was gone, and to him, that seemed wrong. He'd been a good man, a good cop, a great friend, and that shouldn't go unnoticed.

Stella sat down next to him a moment later. He turned to her. She had her hair pulled back, no makeup. She took hold of his hand, squeezing it, she made eye contact, and he saw the pain and sadness in her eyes.

For that moment, he allowed himself to feel what another was feeling. He squeezed back. "I'm still here." He whispered to her.

At his words, her eyes released a waterfall of tears. He wrapped an arm around her, telling himself it was for her…

Hawkes was a few moments behind Stella. The young man slid into the booth, nodding hello to his bosses.

The young man leaned his head back against the seat, letting his eyes close.

Mac's eyes refocused on the outside world. Stella gripped her cup tightly, staring down into it, her tears making an occasional splash into her black coffee.

He watched Flack's black truck pull up. Flack was out fairly quickly, still dressed in the previous day's clothing. He pulled the passenger door open and Lindsay climbed out. Her eyes were shielded by dark sunglasses. Her shoulders were hunched forward and her movements were slow.

Flack fell into step beside her. If Mac had to guess, neither of them had slept last night, not that he'd expected them to. The two of them were the hardest hit by Danny's death. His girl and his best friend… They'd need each other now.

A moment later, Flack and Lindsay slid into the booth. Lindsay whispered a greeting to the others and Flack nodded to each of them.

Orders were taken and coffees were refilled. Mac cleared his throat. "Danny will be laid to rest tomorrow." He said, his hands absently tearing up a napkin as he spoke. But he did make eye contact, he needed them to know he was still their leader, that they could still count on him.

He didn't receive one vocal response, they all just nodded, except Lindsay, who was listening but just couldn't bring herself to accept they'd be burying Danny in two days.

"You have 1 week's mourning… And then, I'm sorry, but we'll all be expected to report back, since none of us are family." Mac continued, his voice softer this time, hoping they understood.

"We may not be blood relatives, but we are family." Stella said, her voice just a notch or two above a whisper.

Mac watched as the other 3 muttered or nodded their agreement to Stella's statement. He felt the same way.

"Ok, well I'll talk to the department about extended leave." He said, feeling a little better that he was going to be able to fight for his team.

"Don't. Not on my behalf. I'll be back after the wake." Came Lindsay's quiet voice.

"Lindsay, you're off until next Thursday. Danny's going to be buried day after tomorrow… You don't have to come in the day after he's laid to rest…" Mac trailed off.

"I do. This… This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be at work. He took my shift, and they took his life. I cost him his life. I was sleeping… He didn't want to wake me… It was a mistake… I should have gotten up. I won't… I can't… I can't let another mistake like that happen again." She told them, her voice choked and full of tears. With that said, she pushed back her coffee, slid out of the seat and half ran, half walked out of the café.

"Damn it. Linds!" Flack called, sliding out of the booth to follow her, tossing a 10 on the table as he went after her.

The rest watched as Lindsay ran to the truck, her hands braced on the side of it as she faced the interior of the vehicle.

Flack was a moment behind her. He was behind her, talking to her, gesturing. She shook her head, looking down now.

He stepped closer, placing a tentative hand on her arm.

"Linds… Don't do this to yourself. He wouldn't want this… You killin' yourself over this… It's not your fault…" Flack told her, his own voice choked with emotion.

"Don't." She whispered, the tears spilling over.

"Don't what?" He asked, coming closer.

"Don't tell me what he didn't want. You don't know, Flack! You don't!! He died because of me!! I put him through so much… He took it all… Just to be with me… We got one night Flack!! That's it… And the one night cost him his life!!" She wailed, her chest heaving, her tears running down her face in rivers.

He grabbed and turned her around, pulling her into his arms, holding her, knowing that at that moment, that was what she needed. "He'd have done it again in a second if it meant you didn't die." He whispered in her ear, smoothing his hand over her hair.

She didn't say anything, she couldn't, she was sobbing so hard. She collapsed against his chest, clutching his shirt as if it were the only thing keeping her alive.

After several moments, he finally maneuvered her into the car and set off to take her home.

Song: Pain In My Heart – Otis Redding

It just seemed appropriate, she's not the only one in pain, they're all hurting. They aren't just co-workers, or just friends, they're a family.

REVIEW


	4. I Need You

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/Slight DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 4: I Need You

Flack drove her home. She never spoke, never even moved. She simply sat in the passenger seat, her head leaning against the window, watching the streets filled with cars, people and buildings fly by.

She missed Montana now more than ever. She could stare out the window in Montana and find solace, peace… Here, it was nothing but one reminder after another of just how shitty things were becoming.

He watched her, his blue eyes weary and tired, filled with both sadness and concern. He didn't feel right just dropping her off. She'd torment herself. At least, if she was at his place, he could watch over her.

He made a few turns and they ended up in front of his building in Brooklyn. Only when they stopped did she realize where they were.

"Where are we?" She asked, as if snapping out of a trance.

"Brooklyn, my apartment to be exact." He replied, stepping out of the car.

"This isn't where I live." She argued, as though he didn't know that, watching him warily as he opened the car door for her.

"I'm aware of that. But you aren't going home and sitting by yourself after all this." He told her, gesturing for her to get out of the vehicle.

"My stuff is at home." She retorted, desperately hoping one of her arguments would pay off.

"I realize that. But you had a shower last night and your clothes are clean. I haven't had a shower in 24 hours and I need to change. We'll worry about your stuff later." He told her, clearly not in the mood to argue logistics with her.

She sighed as she was out of arguments. She slid out of the car and allowed him to lead her up to his apartment.

It was minimally decorated, but fairly clean. He gave her a quick tour, she followed, nodding mutely when appropriate. He led her into the guest room.

"Bed's pretty comfortable." He offered, feeling stupid and useless for saying such a thing. But she didn't seem to notice as she walked over to it and dropped her things on the bedside table. Without even so much as a backwards glance, she threw back the covers and tucked herself in between them. He watched as she turned away from him and closed her eyes.

He clicked the door shut behind him as he quickly gathered jeans and a T-shirt from his room. He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water sluice over his tired body. He'd been going through his own private hell with all of this and clearly Lindsay wasn't in a state to be left alone, so he was holding her up too. It was getting to be both physically and emotionally exhausting.

He stepped of the shower a half hour later and toweled off. He slipped into his dark sweat pants and a white wife beater. He ran a hand over his dark hair, seeing the slight flecks of grey reflect off the light. He didn't mind them…. In fact, he sort of liked them, character marks…

He padded barefoot down the short hall and peeked in the room, half expecting her to have run off while he was gone.

She was still there, and still asleep. She'd shed the hoodie and was now just wearing a T-shirt, and she was sprawled on her back, mouth slightly open. He sent up a silent thanks. He knew she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, so she definitely needed this.

He stood there a moment and watched her. She looked peaceful for once, and not tormented. She was a pretty girl, no doubt about it. At first, he'd been surprised at Messer's interest in her. She wasn't the typical woman he dated. But he soon realized what Danny saw. And it was hard not to be attracted to that. But he'd kept his distance, held his tongue, because Danny had needed it more. And because, apparently, she needed Danny.

And now she was hurting. They were all hurting.

It wasn't right. Danny finally got himself a good woman, a good situation, he'd been making decisions based on someone else and not just himself, and he died for it.

"Damn it Danny." He muttered, shutting the door, and wiping at the tears building up in his own eyes.

He glanced at the clock. It was barely 11 am. He didn't dream of waking her. She needed it. So did he, in fact. He checked the door, making sure it was locked, and headed to his own room, flicking off the lights and climbing into bed, hoping sleep would come.

And it did.

Lindsay woke up several hours later, her eyes bleary and still tired. She fumbled for her phone to check the time. It was 6:30. She sat up, scratching her head. She glanced around and it all hit her at once. She was at Flack's apartment, in his spare bedroom, because he didn't want to leave her alone because Danny was gone.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, swearing she was going to go the rest of the evening without crying.

She swung her feet to the floor, surprised to find a small duffel bag at her feet. Her duffle bag. She thought back. They hadn't gone to her apartment before arriving at Flack's….

She reached down and found a note that had fallen to the floor.

_**Linds-**_

_**I thought you might need a few things, so I ran by your apartment and picked up some clothes and a few other things while you were asleep. Hope that's OK.**_

_**Don**_

She peered in the bag and found a few shirts, couple pairs of jeans, her flip flops and her Nike's. Also at the bottom was her shampoo and conditioner, soap, toothbrush, makeup bag, hair dryer and hair brush. Her glasses were in a case at the bottom, along with her contact case. A set of shorts and T-shirt made up her pajamas. Sitting next to the duffle was a towel.

She grabbed the towel, her toiletries and her pajamas and stepped out of the bedroom. She listened for Flack. She heard nothing. Good. She wasn't ready to talk just yet.

She entered the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. She faced herself for the first time in a day. Her face was drawn, dark circles had found a home under her eyes. The color in her eyes was dull and lifeless, pretty much mirroring her feelings at the moment.

She tore her gaze from the mirror and turned on the shower, getting it as hot as possible. She stepped in, not feeling the heat, she cleaned herself, working her hands through her hair as she shampooed, she let her eyes canvas Flack's shower. Really, she just needed to occupy her mind with something other than Danny and exploring Don Flack's shower products seemed to be a good way to keep her distracted.

She read the back of his shampoo and conditioner bottles, smelled his soap, and even went as far as to clean off his razor.

She cleaned herself from head to toe. She stepped out of the shower feeling a bit better than when she got in. She toweled off and ran a comb through her hair, letting it hang wet as she pulled on her pajamas.

She regarded her reflection once more. It had improved. She'd gone from 'death warmed over' to 'had a hard few days', which in her book, was an improvement.

She deposited her toiletries back in her room after cleaning up behind herself. This time she heard movement coming from the front of the apartment.

She felt a bit apprehensive about walking out there. Sure, she'd spent the last day and a half with him, but this was her first 'clear headed' moment since everything had happened.

He'd been there for her, held her, talked to her, supported her. All that… He'd lost his friend too.

All of a sudden, she felt very selfish for just allowing herself to fall back on him to take care of her, nobody had been taking care of him. He needed to know that he didn't have to do this, not for her.

She steeled herself and forced her feet to carry her to the living room.

Sure enough, there he was. His feet were bare, he was wearing faded jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was a bit mussed. He glanced up, smiling a little when he saw her.

She looked a lot better. Her eyes were clear, she wasn't crying.

"Hi." She said, her voice tentative and small. She felt a bit self conscious now that she was actually aware of his presence.

"Sit." He told her after a tense moment, as he moved over, making space for her on the couch.

She hesitated for a moment, but TV would definitely be a distraction. So she sat down next to him, making sure to keep a bit of couch cushion between the two of them.

They watched bland TV for an hour, both grateful for the distraction it brought. They were both acutely aware of the other's presence. It's not that they didn't know each other, but the only time they'd spent together had been because Danny was there… So being there, without him… It left both of them feeling more than slightly ill at ease.

Commercial came, and, as if on cue, Lindsay's stomach growled. Flack gave her a small half smile.

"Pizza?" He asked, reaching for the phone as he muted the TV. She nodded her agreement.

He ordered, slightly surprising her when he knew what toppings she liked. They sat back, the TV still on mute, both trying to figure out how to put it all into words.

"Flack… I… I really can't tell you how much I appreciate what you've done the past few days. I feel like I've been totally selfish by leaning on you, but it means a lot that you let me… I needed it… I guess I feel like you were the closest to Danny… You're sort of all I have left of him." She told him, unable to pick her eyes up off the floor, where she was staring intently.

"I needed you too, you know… You're all that's left of him to me too… Just don't feel bad Linds. Helping you… Being there, sort of makes me feel like I'm doing something, that maybe Dan would have wanted me to make sure you were OK." He said, his eyes on the ceiling, studying the design intently.

The slightly awkward moment is interrupted by the arrival of their dinner.

Just like it that, the subject was dropped. They ate in companionable silence, allowing the droning of the TV to block out the need to talk.

Finally, around 11:30, Lindsay stood. "I think I'm going to go to bed." She told him, carrying her paper plate to the trash.

He nodded his agreement. "So… The wake starts at noon… I know I have to drop you off. You want me to wait and drive you?" He asked, his arms folded as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

She gazed up at him and managed to nod. She'd gone a few good hours without thinking about it, of course it was going to come up now, just before she was going to try to go to bed.

"Good night." He said, laying his hand on her arm briefly, before turning and heading to his room.

She entered the guest room and quietly clicked the door shut behind her. She crawled into the bed, pulling the covers tightly around her frame, she willed herself to think of anything besides Danny. She needed to be strong now, not rely on other people to be strong for her.

Flack shed his shirt and pants and pulled back the thick comforter on his bed. He climbed in between the sheets and willed sleep to come.

Lindsay tossed and turned for several hours, waking every so often after images of Danny would pop into her dreams.

Finally, at 4 am, she fell asleep.

Flack's night hadn't gone much better. He'd counted the cracks in his ceiling at least a hundred times as he listened to Lindsay fight sleep.

He himself had fought the urge to go to her, knowing she was so miserable, but also realizing that she needed to get through this, even if it meant letting her suffer.

8 am finally came. Lindsay dragged herself out of bed and into the kitchen. Don's automatic coffeemaker was already brewing. She opened a few cupboards before she found his mugs. She poured herself and Flack one. She turned around, cups in hand and headed to his room.

She knocked lightly. Nothing. She nudged the door open. He was asleep, on his side, facing her. Just by looking at him, she could tell he'd had just as bad a night as her, and she hated to wake him.

She sighed and debated her options. She tiptoed in and set the coffee on the bedside table. Then she hurried out, grabbed her stuff and headed to the bathroom.

She showered quickly and turned her hair dryer on low and began styling it. She'd just finished her hair and make up when there was a gentle tap on the door.

She glanced at her watch as she opened it. 10:30.

"Good morning." She said, her voice low and soft.

"Morning." He replied, coffee in hand as he stepped around her to turn on the shower, then he brushed his teeth while he waited for it to warm up.

She finished gathering her stuff together, doing her best not to watch him. He was in his navy NYPD sweatpants and a wifebeater. She still wasn't entirely comfortable around him yet and she constantly found herself questioning her every action around him.

"How come you didn't get me up?" He asked after spitting out the toothpaste.

"You looked like you had just as bad a night as me. So I revised the plan. I showered and did everything I needed to do here, so all I need to do is take 5 minutes at my apartment and change." She explained softly, hoping he wasn't upset.

He gave her a small half smile. It wasn't often that people were that considerate towards him.

"Thanks. I'll be ready by 11." He promised as she exited the bathroom.

And he was. By 10:55 he'd showered and dressed, wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. She'd tossed her bag into his truck while he was in the shower.

The drive to her apartment was quick, and true to her word, Lindsay changed from her jeans into a knee length black dress with fluttery sleeves and a modest neckline. She slipped on black hose and black pumps, completing the appropriate look.

She stepped from her bedroom and found Flack flipping through a magazine. He looked up and for a moment, only a moment, his eyes glazed over a bit as he took her in.

But he quickly recovered and they were off to the service.

Song: I Need You – LeAnn Rimes

I know this is a romantic song, but the basic premise of needing someone more than air, more than food, is very appropriate. She needs a little bit of Danny and so does he.


	5. Alone

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 5: Alone

"Flack, I just want you to know, if you don't want to stay or feel like leaving early, that's fine, I won't hold you up or anything." She told him, smoothing her hands over her dress as he parked.

She felt his large hand cover hers briefly. "I'm ready when you're ready." He promised, his eyes full of sincerity.

She nodded. They headed in silently, both highly aware of the shift in the mood as they entered the parlor.

She felt numb. She couldn't speak, couldn't move, all she could was stare.

She was standing in the hallway at Davidson Funeral Home, outside of Parlor 2, where Danny was laid out.

Flack was beside her, hands in his pocket, staring off into the distance.

She wanted to move, she really did. But going into that room, she'd see him and it would mean that he was gone, really and truly gone.

"I don't know if I can do this Don." She whispered, her eyes threatening to overflow with her silent tears.

Without even thinking, he reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing it close to his side.

"You don't have to. But if you don't go in, you may never forgive yourself." He replied in a low voice, doing everything he could to keep his voice from cracking with emotion.

He was right. She knew eventually she'd hate herself for not going in. She'd never get the closure and be able to properly move on, even though at that moment, moving on seemed like a concept far beyond her reach.

She nodded and they slowly entered the room.

It was filled with Danny's co-workers, friends and family. It was obvious emotions were running high, everyone kept their voices at quiet levels. People were in clusters, sharing quiet stories and observations.

Flack spotted Mac and Stella and gently tugged on the hand he was still holding and lead her to the bunch.

"They've gotten awfully cozy." A tech from the lab said in a voice just loud enough for Stella to hear.

The taller woman turned to face the catty tech.

"Wow. That was a bit inappropriate, given that the two of them have lost a very important person in their lives. God forbid they turn to each other in a time like this." She said, her voice low and deadly quiet.

The technician shrank down under the older woman's hard stare. "Sorry." She whispered before slinking away.

Stella turned back around just in time for Flack and Lindsay to join the bunch.

Hugs were exchanged all around and Lindsay felt a bit better. They stood and talked quietly for several moments. Flack had released her hand and was now resting it lightly in the middle of her back, a gesture Lindsay found very comforting and reassuring.

Spotting Danny's parents, he figured it was time for him and Lindsay to pay their respects.

He leaned down and softly whispered in her ear. "I see Dan's parents. We should probably go say hello, pay our respects." He told her.

She felt his warm breath on her neck as he explained. She quickly nodded and they politely backed out of the group and Flack led the way.

Nervousness and fear quickly overtook Lindsay and this time it was her who was grappling for Flack's hand. He swiftly grabbed it in his and came to a stop behind the Messers.

He tapped on Mrs. Messer's shoulder and she turned. "Don!" She exclaimed softly, reaching up and planting a kiss on each cheek.

"Elesa. I'm so sorry." He replied quietly, embracing the woman with his free hand.

After a long moment, Flack turned to Lindsay. "Elesa Messer, this is Lindsay Monroe." He introduced.

Lindsay offered her hand but the woman pulled her into a tight hug. "My son thought the world of you." She whispered in Lindsay's ear, a statement that caused Lindsay to smile and cry simultaneously.

She pulled back after a moment, and Elesa held onto the young woman's upper arms. "You're a beautiful girl. The way Danny spoke of you, you would have been so good for him." Elesa went on, her eyes now full of tears.

"Thank you Mrs. Messer, you have no idea what that means to me." Lindsay whispered, flicking a tear off her face.

"This is my husband Louis Sr. Louis, this is Lindsay Monroe, the girl Danny was always going on and on about." Elesa said, pulling Lindsay over to where Louis Sr. was talking to Flack.

Flack smiled at her as she approached. "My son spoke highly of you." Mr. Messer said, offering his hand and getting a firm grip from the petite woman.

"Thank you sir." Lindsay replied, giving the man a small half smile.

"Quite the grip you've got there." Mr. Messer remarked.

"Montana didn't raise a sissy." Flack said with a slight smile.

Mr. Messer smiled in return. "I remember Danny mentioning you weren't from around here. He said you were quite the woman." Louis Sr. went on, obviously impressed with his son's taste in women.

"I appreciate that. Your son was a great man. I'm so very sorry for your loss." Lindsay told Danny's father, but even as she said the words, she didn't feel like it was enough.

The older man smiled softly. "Thank you. We appreciate you coming." He told her as someone else came up to offer their sympathies.

"C'mon." Flack whispered, steering her towards the front where Danny was laid out.

The moment Lindsay realized where they were headed, she put the brakes on.

"I can't Flack. I can't see him that way." She said, shaking her head no as he turned to face her.

"Linds, you've come this far. You can do this. I really think you should say goodbye." He pleaded with her.

"I... I can't... I don't think... It's too hard Don." She whispered, tears overflowing now.

"I know it's hard Linds. I know. But doing this... It'll help. I promise. I'll be right here with you the whole time." He told her, squeezing her hand.

She sighed and hung her head. After a moment, she nodded.

They quietly made their way to the front of her room. With every step they took, she held his hand a little tighter.

They waited their turn and as she stepped up to the casket, her heart was pounding in her throat. Flack let go of her hand and stepped back.

She knelt down in front of the casket, the tears pooling in her eyes. Her fingers gripped the edge of the smooth wood as she bowed her head.

"God…. I'm going to miss you Danny. You have no idea what you mean to me. I didn't realize how much I needed you until you left. I wish I could change things, bring you back… I can't though. All I can do is say goodbye. I'll miss you more than you could ever imagine." She whispered hoarsely through her tears.

A moment later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Flack.

She turned to look into his own watery blue eyes and he offered his hand. She took it and stood.

She stepped back, furiously wiping at her eyes.

Flack took Lindsay's place in front of the casket and closed his eyes.

_Dan… Why? I feel like this is my fault, I could've done something. I'm sorry I let you down. You were like a brother to me. I wish I could make this better, make her better. She needs you so much Danny. Lindsay's a wreck without you. I'll do my best. I love you._

He opened his eyes and crossed himself. He stood and wiped at the stray tear running down his cheek.

"Can we go now?" She asked softly, unable to take being there any longer.

He nodded and they said their goodbyes.

They make their way to the car, neither of them saying a word.

"You want me to take you home?" He asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

She nodded. "I need to get ready for work." She replied, keeping her eyes trained on the cold, unforgiving scenery passing by her.

"You... You don't have to go back you know. You have the time." He ventured softly, remembering her outburst the last time they had this discussion.

This time she didn't snap his head off. "This has all been so much Flack... I need something normal." She explained softly.

He really couldn't fault her for wanting something normal, but going back to a place so full of memories…. He wasn't entirely sure if that was the best way to return to normalcy.

The rest of the drive is silent. 20 minutes later, they pulled up in front of her apartment. He got out and opened her car door for her.

Flack wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say, so instead, he just pulled her close and hugged her, knowing he needed it just as much as she did.

She returned the hug, wrapping her arms around him, burying her head in his neck, and holding on for dear life, because at that moment, he was the only one holding her up.

Song: Alone – Heart

I feel like this song is very Danny and Lindsay. They are all about being "alone". Prior to meeting each other, it seems to be that they were probably very OK with being alone. And then after meeting, they always had those little moments where they were alone together, but never "alone" enough to really do anything. But then Danny tried and she said no, she needed to be alone. And finally, FINALLY, she was really ready. They had their one night of complete and total "alone". And now here we are, they're alone again, in very different ways.


	6. Can't Let It Go

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 6: Can't Let It Go

Lindsay slowly closed the door behind her after she let herself into her apartment. She leaned back against the door and slowly sank to the ground, her black dress pooling around her body.

She steepled her knees and rested her elbows on them, her arms hanging limply in front of her.

She sat that way for a long time. She didn't even notice the time, her mind was a million miles away. She leaned her head back against the cool door, slowly closing her eyes and letting the memories wash over her.

"_And make sure you call him Sir."_

"_Well, hello, Miss Monroe. Wow. You clean up nice. You go to the mayor's party also?"_

"_I was at the opera."_  
"_I am hanging out with all the wrong people, you know that?"_

"_Look, you promised me drinks for this, but I think I'm gonna need some dinner too."_

"_I'm not gonna give you anything if you don't get going. Make tracks, cowboy."_

"_Don't tell me you know a little something about football, please."_

"_Why? Is that so hard to believe?"_

"_No, it's just dangerous. I might ask you to marry me."_

"_You think Danny calls me Montana because I'm a 49er's fan?"_

"_He calls you that because he has a crush on you."_

"_Montana! See a view like this, eh? Beats the wheat field, no?"_

"_Have you ever even seen a wheat field?"_

"_What's to see? It's just wheat."_

"_Well, you still want that ride?"_

"_Yeah. Sure."_

"_What do you think you're doin'?"_

"_Danny, I'll be fine."_

"_We have undercovers who can do this, alright, it's not our job."_

"_It's been a long time since I've stood up on a date."_

"_Sorry Danny, something came up."  
"You're phone's not working?"  
"I'm really sorry."_

"_I can't do this Danny."  
"Can't do what?"  
"I can't be in a relationship with you."_

"_I'm not I just- I just- I don't… I'm talking about spending some time together, dinner, a few drinks, some laughs."_

"_I dreamt that I woke up and you were gone. You left a note."  
"Where would I go? This is my place."_

She still remembered that dream. It blew her mind to think she'd only had that dream 3 days ago.

She'd never, in a million years, expected that dream to come true. But it had. She woke up the second time and he was gone. She never saw him alive after that.

The tears flowed freely now. She didn't even try to stop them as they pooled and left little black mascara rivers down her face.

After what felt like hours, she pulled herself to her feet, pulling off her heels and tossing them into her room as she passed by.

As she made her way to the bathroom she shed the dress and stockings. By the time she reached her destination she was down to her bra and panties.

She stepped in front of the mirror and took in her appearance. She wasn't surprised by her reddened, tear stained face. She turned away and pulled down her hair, leaning over to turn the shower on as hot as possible. She had to stop this if she was going to go back to work and be functional tomorrow.

She stood under the hot stream of water, barely even feeling it burn her skin. She leaned her head against the wall in front of her, rivulets of water running down her face, mixing with her tears and falling to the floor.

She stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. She stepped out, grabbing her robe as she did so. She slipped it on and moved to the mirror, coming face to face with herself again.

Her hair was slick with water, her face was free of makeup but tinged bright red from the heat of the shower. Her eyes showed obvious bags. But she wasn't crying. That was what was important.

She gathered her clothes and headed back to her room. She picked out a pair of khaki pants, a white shirt and a blue cardigan for the next day.

Sleep was touch and go that night. Her dreams were filled with images of Danny and his bloody murder. More than once she woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, tears soaked her pillow.

Her alarm went off at 7:30 and she was already wide awake. Pulling her body out of bed was miserable, her arms and legs felt like they were filled with lead.

She splashed some cold water on her face and managed to pull herself together for work. The whole time a little voice her head kept nagging at her. _You don't have to go in. All it'll take is one little call to Mac and you can climb right back in bed and cry all day long._

But that wasn't an option. She wasn't going to allow herself to behave like that. She arrived at work a few minutes early and quietly deposited her stuff into her locker.

She turned away from her locker and her eyes landed on Danny's locker. Or, at least, what was his locker. The lock was gone, the name plate removed.

She reached out and barely touched the metal door. Her hand drifted to the pull handle. She opened it. There was nothing left. It was completely empty.

She shut the door softly and headed out. She stopped by the break room and grabbed some coffee, hoping to clear her head and wake up a bit.

She took her coffee and stepped back into the hall. The lab was quiet, not surprisingly. Even Mac's light was off and she'd half expected him to be there.

She strode slowly down the hall, dreading going into her office, looking at an empty desk all day. She wasn't even entirely sure she could do it… _Maybe it is too soon…_ The little voice in her head taunted.

She shook her head as if to clear it of her previous thoughts and very quickly realized she was right outside their-her office.

Her grip on the coffee cup was so tight she was beginning to feel it burning her hand, but it was like she was numb. She couldn't move.

She took a cautious step into the office and her eyes landed on Danny's desk. They hadn't gotten around to cleaning it out yet. Her eyes started to water at the sight of his desk. There were a few papers strewn about, a New York Giants mug with coffee stains in it, a stack of case files with his favorite pen on top of it. She took a step closer. His computer was still on, the screensaver was a collection of photos of people in the lab at various events and parties. There were a lot of her and Danny together, most of them taken without them even realizing they were being photographed.

All of a sudden she realized she had nothing to remember him by. Someone would probably be by shortly to clean out his desk and then she'd have nothing.

She approached his desk and picked up his favorite pen and stuck it in her pocket. Then she strode around the backside of the desk and slowly sank into his chair. She "woke up" his computer, found the file with the lab pictures and emailed it to herself so she could have it as her screensaver.

Then she quickly grabbed his Giants mug and deposited all the items into her desk drawer.

When she got to her desk, she pulled her chair out and wheeled it over to Danny's desk, taking his chair back to her desk.

She sank down into it, inhaling his cologne as she did so. She closed her eyes and inhaled and for just a moment, it felt like he was there.

She sat for hours, just staring. _Why am I even here? I can't even work._ But she couldn't bring herself to go home either. Somehow, she felt closer to Danny by just sitting in his chair, closer than she'd felt in the last few days.

All day, unfamiliar cases and faces came and went, as the night shift was covering the day for the next few days. Mac must've called the night supervisor and told the temporary boss to keep her out of the field. So she was given mindless paperwork all day.

Stella called twice, both times trying to lure her out of the office, but she refused. The older woman couldn't blame her. Stella had spent the entire day aimlessly meandering through New York, constantly ending up at Danny's favorite haunts, each place bringing on a fresh set of tears.

No one had talked to Mac since the funeral, not even Peyton, and that wasn't for lack of trying. He'd been holed up in his apartment, combing through the case, doing everything in his power to ensure and open and shut case. Nobody killed one of his people and walked. Nobody.

Sheldon had almost gone into work. He'd set his alarm and even woken up when it went off. But he couldn't do it. He wasn't ready to face the memories yet. He wasn't ready to face Lindsay yet either.

Flack had done his best to try and have a normal day, resume daily activities, but it seemed like everything he did made him think about Danny or Lindsay, sometimes both. When he'd showered that morning, he discovered her disposable razor. When he'd been hunting through his drawers to find something to wear, he came across Danny's Yankees T-shirt that he'd left over a year ago when he'd had his apartment painted and stayed with Flack.

She didn't go home that night. She stayed at the lab, in her chair, her head down on her desk.

Flack hadn't spoken to her all day and that bothered him. He felt like he should at least make sure she was OK.

But he also recognized her need to be alone, to deal with this in her way, to have her sense of normalcy.

So he respected her space and let her have her time.

They all returned to work the following Thursday. There was a definite air of sadness looming in the office, but no one, not even Mac, knew what to say.

But they did the best they could. All of them, except for Lindsay. She hadn't been out to the field, or even the lab, since her return.

After 2 straight weeks of this, Mac knew he had no choice but to speak up. He entered her office on a Friday afternoon. He couldn't help but glance at Danny's desk. It was empty now, as most of Danny's things had found homes on the desks of his former co-workers.

Mac had managed to grab Danny's stapler on his first day back. He'd spotted Dan's tape dispenser sitting on Stella's desk. Lindsay had been displaying his Giants mug since Mac had returned. Earlier that day, he'd visited Flack and noticed he now was in possession of Dan's in/out box and Sheldon's pens were now being held in Danny's pencil cup. They might just be office supplies, but to the team, they were all the tangible things they had left of Danny.

He let his fingertips trail over it as he walked by on the way to her desk.

"We need to talk." He told her, sitting down in the chair across from her.

She pulled her eyes away from the paperwork and met his gaze.

What Mac saw made his heart flip over. Her face was ghostly pale, her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was haphazardly pulled away from her face, her expression was that of someone who'd had their whole world yanked out from underneath them.

"Talk to me Lindsay. Things aren't right in your world. You need to let it out." He told her, leaning forward.

She turned back to her paperwork, schooling her expression to appear neutral. "I'm fine Mac."

"No, you're not. You won't work in the field, you barely leave this office, and when you are in here, you spend half the day staring at his desk." Mac argued back.

"So you're mad at me." She said softly, not bothering to even question it.

"No, I'm not. I understand, believe me, I understand. Which is why I think you need to talk to someone. A therapist, a psychologist. Somebody that can help you Lindsay." He suggested, hoping she'd agree.

"Thanks, but Mac, I don't need it. I really don't. It's nothing, we were just co-workers." She replied with a casual shrug of her shoulders. She again turned her eyes back to her paperwork.

Mac sat there for a moment longer, watching her. He stood and headed to the door, again stopping at Danny's desk.

He rested his hand against it and turned to face her again.

"I know it was more Lindsay. Don't… Don't take that away from Danny."

REVIEW

Song: Can't Let It Go – Goo Goo Dolls

This song is probably not as well known as their other songs, but it was strikingly perfect… Mostly because it recognizes that while the relationship wasn't perfect, it doesn't make it any easier to let go of it. You can deny, brush it off, pretend it didn't happen, but until you really let it go, you're stuck with it.


	7. I'm Getting Over You

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 7: I'm Getting Over You

It had been a month since the team had returned. A month since Danny had died and life hadn't gotten any easier for any of them.

Lindsay was still holed up in her office, door locked, having gone from sad to angry, snapping at anyone who came by, picking fights, mostly with Flack.

"_Why don't you go home?"_

"_I'm busy Flack. I need to be here."_

"_YOU NEED TO SLEEP."_

"_YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"_

"_Linds…"_

"_Not now Don."_

"_You need to talk to me… To Mac… To someone… You won't come out of this office, you won't go home…"_

"_Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine."_

"_You are not fine."_

"_YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!"_

She hadn't been out in the field since Danny's death and every week Mac had come knocking, suggesting she go back out, she simply said "no." and quietly shut the door.

Flack was running off two emotions, listless and pissed off. He saved pissed off for all his co-workers, biting their heads off anytime any of them stepped the littlest bit out of line.

"_Detective Flack?"_

"_Yeah Julian?"_

"_I still need your signatures on this paperwork…"_

"_I told you I'd get to it."_

"_That was two days ago sir."_

"_Well obviously it's not that important then is it??"_

Stella withdrew into herself, no longer sharing her personal life with anyone, and she no longer expressed interest in anyone else's lives, stating she "couldn't lose someone else. I've lost too many." After Mac questioned her closed off attitude.

Sheldon had seriously considered leaving or going back to the morgue, where there was less emotion. It had taken every ounce of Mac's convincing abilities to keep him up in the lab. And he was sticking close to the lab, only going out when no one else could.

Mac felt their pain. He'd tried everything, talking to them, suggesting counseling, offering days off, none of it helped. There was nothing he could do. His team was in shambles and he was powerless to do anything about it. This wasn't a wound he could heal. That job belonged to time.

And time did the best it could. Almost two months after their loss, things finally seemed to be getting better, people were slowly returning to their normal selves.

Lindsay had finally stopped picking fights with people. She was still largely keeping to herself, but the techs and her co-workers weren't afraid of her anymore. She was actually giving some thought to going back into the field.

Sheldon and Stella were both slowly coming around, smiling occasionally, having lunch together, talking about the past. Sheldon proved to be a good match to Stella's dark, lonely feelings.

Flack had stopped coming around all together in the beginning, sending other detectives when one was required, but as time had passed, he'd come around once or twice, but never for long, and he only spoke with Stella, Hawkes and Mac.

Stella had asked why he was avoiding Lindsay. "Seems like it's what she wants. I don't want to get in the way of her healing." He'd explained sadly. It was obvious he missed her presence. Besides him, she was the closest to Danny and spending time with her might've helped a bit.

Monday morning, not long before the two month anniversary of his death, Lindsay woke up at 5 am feeling a strong urge to throw up.

30 seconds later, that urge became reality and she stumbled for the bathroom, barely making it in time.

She spent 5 minutes praying to the porcelain gods before she even considered moving. She felt warm and clammy. _Must be the flu. Great. It's that time._ She tended to get the flu around this time every year.

She reached into the vanity drawer and clawed around for a clean towel when her hand closed around something else. A box.

She pulled the box out and sat up a little. It was a box of tampons. Her brow furrowed as she gazed at it.

It was unopened with a coupon sticking to it that had expired the month before.

_How long has it been since I……….? OH GOD. No. NO. It's not that. I've just been really stressed, that sort of thing changes because of stress._

Soon enough, she had herself talked down off the pregnancy ledge. She cleaned herself up, had a cup of juice and a slice of toast and took herself into work.

Unfortunately, she wasn't able to keep herself off that ledge for long. By Thursday, she'd thrown up every single morning before work.

She spent all of Thursday morning on the internet, looking up pregnancy. By lunch, she was flipping out.

She knew what was next. She grabbed her purse and headed out.

She roamed down the aisles of CVS until she came to the section she was looking for. _Ironic how they put the pregnancy tests right next to the condoms and the tampons._

She read the boxes and selected a two pack and quickly paid. She stuffed the bag in her purse and stopped at the hot dog vendor on the way in, suddenly feeling the need for a food she normally avoided like the plague.

She briefly considered doing the test in the lab, but she didn't want to deal with the results there. So she pushed it a little deeper into the bottom of her purse and headed upstairs.

Stella was standing next to her office door when she stepped off the elevator. She offered the woman a small smile. The older woman tentatively smiled back.

"Got your email about your results." Stella said, following Lindsay into her office.

Lindsay nodded as she hung up her coat and dropped her purse in the corner.

Half hour later, they were finished.

Lindsay spent the rest of the afternoon trying her best to keep her mind off of the test buried deep in her purse.

Finally at 5, she closed it all down. She grabbed her coat, some files, her purse, and her lunch bag and headed out.

Flack watched her leave her office. He'd been several feet away and was supposed to stop in before she left and grab some information on a current case. But he'd waited until she left before going in, knowing she probably had no desire to see him.

He waited until the elevator door slid shut and strode over to her office and headed in.

He flipped on the light and headed to her desk, sifting through the files in the inbox, looking for the correct one. He found it and made a notation of the appropriate information is his book and snapped it shut. As he turned around, his foot kicked up against something.

He turned and looked down. He froze. At his feet was a pregnancy test. He looked around to see if anyone had seen him. The place looked deserted.

He swiftly reached down, grabbed it off the floor and tucked it in his inside suit pocket. _If she's pregnant…_ Her privacy be damned, he was going over there. He headed to the door, passing by Danny's desk, he almost stopped, but he willed himself to move forward. That's what Danny would want.

Lindsay dropped her coat on the sofa and set her purse down to find the test. She pawed around, every second that went by, her rifling got a little more frantic as she realized the test was gone.

5 minutes into her searching, there was a knock on the door. She sighed and paused her scavenging. "Coming!" She called as she hurried to the door, throwing it open, only to find Flack on the other side.

He took in her panicked expression and reached into his jacket pocket. "Looking for something?" He asked, holding it up.

She went to grab it but he pulled it back. "Let's talk." He said as he let himself in.

"Flack…. It's not... Don't… I mean…" She fumbled, trying to get it out.

"Just… explain…. Because from where I'm standing, you think you're pregnant with my best friend's kid." Flack observed as he headed to the living room.

"Yeah, that about sums it up." She sighed miserably.

Flack swallowed hard and asked a question he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer to.

"What exactly happened that night?" He questioned, his voice quiet.

"I got over there around 7. We had pizza and started playing pool awhile later. We'd been doing shots all night… By the time we….. You know… We were drunk and didn't really care about… Protection…… Um…That's the first time I said that out loud." She said, realizing she hadn't ever talked about that night.

Flack watched her expression closely. She was coping well so far, but if she was… He didn't even want to think about what it would do to her.

"So what makes you think you're pregnant?" He asked, not sure of what else to say.

"Um… I haven't had my period in two months. And, well, I've been getting sick all week, but only in the morning…. So I bought a test today on my lunch break and I guess it fell out of my purse…" She finished, now feeling a little embarrassed.

"OK." Was all he said. He stood up from his seat on the couch and headed to the door.

"Stay." She told him, not even aware that she felt that way until the words came out of her mouth.

He turned to look at her. "I…. I don't…. I don't want to be alone…. This kind of thing… I never pictured doing it alone…" She trailed off, taking a step towards him.

"But you never pictured doing it with your boyfriend's best friend." He pointed out.

"I know… But given the choice of doing it by myself or doing it with you, well, you're a whole lot closer to what I had in mind…. But if you don't want to Don, that's OK." She reassured him, though silently praying he'd agree to stay.

Once he realized she really wanted him to stay, he was there. "Feel like going to the bathroom?" He asked.

She smiled. "Thanks." She said softly. All he could was nod.

They walked back to the bathroom and she disappeared inside, shutting the door behind her.

He stood outside against the wall, unable to shake the feeling that it should be Danny standing out here, not him. _Damn it… Danny…_ He needed his best friend now more than ever. Hell, SHE needed his best friend.

A minute later she came out of the bathroom. "I have 3 minutes. I can't sit in there and watch." She told him, wringing her hands nervously.

He nodded and moved down the wall a little, allowing room for her. She took the spot and leaned back, eyes closed. He watched her for a moment. Her expression was somber, and he watched as a tiny tear pricked the corner of her eye and ran down her face.

He wasn't good with tears. He really wasn't. He reached over and took her hand, squeezing gently. She returned the squeeze after a moment.

They stood like that for 2 minutes. Then her timer dinged.

She stood up straight and instead of letting go of his hand, she pulled him into the bathroom with her and over to her sink.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked down.

I'M BACK..... WOW

Hate me yet?

Song: I'm Getting Over You – The Click 5

She was so close to getting over it, moving on… Life is full of setbacks and reminders of our past. Some of those reminders are just a bit harder to get around than others….


	8. You Are Not Alone

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 8: You Are Not Alone

Lindsay took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

At that very moment, her world changed forever.

She turned to Flack, tears in her eyes. "I'm pregnant." She choked out, unable to keep the misery out of her voice.

Flack felt the weight of her words slam into his chest. There'd be no getting over Danny now, at least not anytime soon. She was pregnant with her deceased, almost boyfriend's child after spending just one night with him.

He reached towards her, wanting to help, remind her that she wasn't alone, but she stepped away, just out of his reach.

"Linds, I'm just here to help…" He trailed off, his voice tinged with hurt at her decision to push him away.

"I'm fine Flack, really. I mean, there are a lot of options out there…. I don't even know if I'm keeping it." She told him, brushing past him as she headed back to the living room.

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. _I can't believe she'd even say something like that right now…_

"I… I can't believe you're talking like that. You just found out… You shouldn't make this decision right now… I can't believe you'd punish yourself this way…. I'm just… I can't believe you." He said, his voice full of confusion and frustration.

She didn't even get a chance to respond because he grabbed his coat and stormed out.

She slammed the door after him, not bothering to hide her own anger.

She never felt more alone in her whole life. In a matter of seconds her entire world had been ripped out from underneath her.

Facing Flack wasn't an option. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know how she felt. Was she angry at him for expressing his opinion and trying to tell her what to do? Was she grateful for his presence in her life and for being her rock? She didn't know anything anymore. So, she just didn't say anything.

Two weeks into their silence, Flack strode into the lab, tired and worn out from the current case. He headed towards Stella's office, intent on dropping off the names and leaving. But he stopped short when he saw Lindsay heading out of Mac's office, right across the hall.

She didn't make eye contact but that didn't stop him from watching her. Nor did it stop Stella from watching him.

"What's up with you two?" Stella questioned after Flack dropped the list of names into her inbox.

Flack hesitated. He'd tried really hard to convince himself that this was none of his business. Lindsay was pregnant with Danny's kid, not his. But something about the situation wouldn't leave him alone. He felt like he had to step in, speak on behalf of his dead friend.

"Lindsay's pregnant." He sighed heavily as he slumped down in his chair.

Stella's eyebrows were in her hair. "Oh my god… Poor Lindsay. What's she going to do?" She asked, her face marred with concern.

Flack shrugged. "I was there when she took the test. Then after she found out she was pregnant, she said she might not keep it. I told her I didn't agree and left." Flack explained.

Stella took a deep breath and looked at the younger man she'd come to think of as a brother.

"I understand he was your best friend, but Flack, it's not your place. He's gone… She has to do this alone. She's carrying the child of a man she waited well over a year to be with and barely got a night out of it. One night and now he's gone and she has to deal with this…. Reminder of what she didn't get to experience…. Flack, she doesn't need to be yelled at. Mac was right… With Danny gone, you two are all the other has left. Don't throw that away." Stella advised.

He sat in silence as he turned her words over in his head. She was right. "Maybe I should've reacted a little differently." He admitted.

"Atta boy." Stella told him, giving him an encouraging smile as he stood.

"Thanks Stel." He said sincerely before walking out.

Stella watched him leave, her eyes falling on the office across the hall from her. Mac was watching her. He smiled softly at her.

He had no idea what she'd done but whatever it was, it had drastically changed the mood of the young detective who'd just vacated her office.

An hour later, Flack was standing outside Lindsay's office, waiting for her to leave for lunch.

He watched her grab her things and head down the elevator. As soon as she was out of sight, he slipped into her office and left her a small bouquet of Bitterroot flowers and a card for an OBGYN. Attached to the card was a note.

Linds-

I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're going through and I had no right to say any of those things. I only said them because I care. But that's not an excuse. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. And no matter what your decision is, you won't have to face it alone. I want to be there, no matter what your decision is, as long as you want me to be.

D

He left the items and headed back to the precinct, hoping for the best.

She headed across the street to a small café, the wind whipping through her hair. It was a little cool for summer, but summers in New York were usually unpredictable.

She stepped into the café and stood in line, waiting to place her order. "Hi! Would you like to try our Pepperoni Pizza sub?" The counter girl asked when it was Lindsay's turn.

The woman's words hit her in the stomach. She and Danny had eaten here a few months back and he'd mentioned they were coming out with the new sandwich and he wanted to try it.

"Miss?" The girl asked, breaking her out of her trance.

"Oh! Sorry, no. I'll have the turkey on wheat." She ordered, a little embarrassed at her delay, as the girl was looking at her strangely now.

She ate alone, lost in her own thoughts. She'd yet to make a decision, hell she'd yet to make a doctor's appointment, something she knew she should've done 2 weeks ago when she found out.

A part of her, (the logical part) had really expected this decision to be simple. Having Danny's baby without Danny didn't seem possible.

But not having his baby at all… Well that didn't seem possible either.

A tear rolled out of her eye. "Damn it Danny." She muttered, swiping at it. She hadn't cried in awhile, and every time she'd come close to closing the Danny Chapter of her life, (no matter how painful that was) something always pulled her back. Usually someone would say something, or she'd come across his handwriting on a form, and that would send her right back to 'start' so to speak.

But this time… She'd been so close…

And now it all hinged on this one big, huge, life changing decision. A decision that meant re-opening the Danny Chapter, regardless of what she decided to do.

She dumped her half eaten sandwich in the garbage, now unable to finish it. She grabbed her purse and headed back to work, feeling no better than before.

She quietly made her way to her office, coming to an unexpected halt when she saw what was on her desk.

She reached out and picked up the Bitterroot. It had been ages since she'd smelled it. She brought it to her nose and inhaled the scent. It smelled like home, something she'd been missing a lot lately.

Then she saw the note and card. She scooped them up, leaning against her desk as she read Flack's words.

She wasn't sure if it was his words or the way he signed his name, but it got to her. She didn't know he signed with his first initial… Danny used to sign like that.

The tone of the letter, the way he wrote, it was almost like the letter was from Danny.

The signature was a sign…. Another damn sign. She tried to brush it off, rationalizing that Don signing with a 'D' was perfectly fine, since that's the letter his name started with.

But there was no reasoning. It was a sign... And this one she couldn't blow off.

She sank into her chair, turning the card over in her hands. She knew what she had to do.

She reached over to her phone and dialed the number on the card, her hands shaking a little as she waited for someone to pickup.

"Yes, I need to make an appointment. My name is Lindsay Monroe. Yes, I…I'm pregnant."

5 minutes later she was done. She held the phone in her hand. _I need to call him. He needs to know…_

She dialed his extension at the precinct.

He was at his desk, reviewing an email when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and his heart jumped. It was Lindsay's extension.

He picked it up. "Hi." He greeted her, trying not to sound nervous or upset.

"Hi Don. I got your flowers and the note… It was very kind… And helpful... It was the push I needed." She told him softly.

"Well, good. I'm glad." He said, his voice feeling very awkward and forced.

"I made an appointment for tomorrow. I made my decision and I think you should be there. Can you make it?"

Review please

Song: You Are Not Alone – Michael Jackson

She feels alone and abandoned. Danny's gone, Flack's angry, and as hard as it is to admit she needs someone, she has to. And Danny isn't an option. And Flack's offering.


	9. I'll Stand By You

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 9: I'll Stand By You

_This was a bad idea. I never should have asked him to come with me._

Lindsay glanced at her watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. She was waiting for Don to meet her for her appointment. She silently prayed he'd get held up and skip the appointment.

"Mornin' Linds." He greeted from behind her. He was holding two steaming hot Styrofoam cups of what appeared to be coffee.

"This one's tea. I, um… I read caffeine is bad when you're pregnant." He told her, his tone sheepish and tentative as he offered her one of the cups.

She gave him a small smile and accepted the hot beverage.

"We should probably get upstairs." She told him after taking a grateful sip of her tea.

He nodded and grabbed the door for her.

All too soon, they were pushing through the doors and into the doctor's office.

Don gulped and glanced down at Lindsay.

The room was infested with happy, pregnant families.

Before she realized what was happening, she grappled for his hand and upon finding it, squeezed it tightly in hers.

This… This….Situation was far from ideal. But it was all she had.

And just like that, she was silently thanking the powers that be for allowing Don to be here with her.

She made her way to the front desk and quickly signed herself in, accepting and returning the small smile the receptionist offered her.

After taking care of the necessary paperwork and payment, she plopped into the seat next to Don.

"You OK?" He whispered quietly, never taking his eyes off the ancient copy of Sports Illustrated.

"Not really but I haven't been OK since I found out." She replied, her voice low and hoarse.

Without speaking a word, his hand crossed over the wooden arm rests and clasped her smaller hand in his.

Lindsay leaned her head back against the wall and attempted to calm herself, the small circles Don was tracing on her hand seemed to be helping, the tension was beginning to ebb and ease from her body.

"Lindsay Monroe?"

The sound of her name being called jerked her from her light nap. Don squeezed her hand as they stood. He tossed the old magazine back onto the table as they made their way into the belly of the office.

The nurse was collecting necessary information as well as weighing and measuring Lindsay.

Don observed the small woman. Thus far, she was holding herself together quite well.

"Well, judging by the looks of you two, you'll have a gorgeous baby." The nurse complimented sweetly.

Lindsay opened and closed her mouth, trying desperately to maintain her composure, despite the fact that explaining the situation would undoubtedly send her spiraling into a crying jag.

She felt a strong hand on the small of her back. "Thank you. That's what we're aiming for." She heard Don say as his arm tightened around her.

"Thanks." She whispered out, her watery brown eyes meeting his soft blue ones.

"No prob." He replied as he pulled her a bit closer.

The nurse deposited them into a small room and instructed Lindsay to put on the paper gown and told them the doctor would be with them shortly.

She waited for the door to close and for Don to turn his back before changing into the gown.

After she gave the go-ahead, he turned back around and took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

He was hesitant to speak of what was on his mind. He didn't want to upset her but he felt he needed to say it, he needed to say it because she needed to hear it.

"You have to tell Dr. Sweeney." He told her as she leaned back against the cool table.

"Tell him what?"

Don winced as the words left his mouth. "About Dan. Otherwise he'll assume I'm the father."

Lindsay blinked a few times, trying in vain to hold the tears at bay.

"I know. I'll be honest, it crossed my mind, but I… I'll tell her. I need to get used to this, I'm doing this alone. The sooner I accept that, the easier this will be." Her voice was low and full of pain.

He covered her hand with his own. "Look, I'll support whatever you decide to do, I'll come to any appointments you need me to, you need something, I'm there. I'll be there for every event in his or her life, I'll help, whatever you need. But if not, and you can't do this… It's OK. No one would blame you. But you should know…You aren't doing this by yourself." He told her, his blue eyes probing her face, trying to make her understand.

She wasn't given an opportunity to respond because Dr. Sweeney chose that moment to make her entrance.

After introductions were made and questions were answered, the doctor got down to business.

"Now, do either of you have any history of any genetic issues that you're aware of?" She asked, pen poised above Lindsay's chart.

Lindsay gulped and turned her fear filled eyes toward Don.

He nodded slightly and placed his hand on her arm, giving her a small squeeze of support.

"Actually Dr. Sweeney, Don isn't the father. He's a good friend of mine. The father… He's… He passed away." Lindsay squeezed out, struggling to keep her tone even and calm, wincing at the slight break in her tone when she stumbled at the end.

Dr. Sweeney's face softened and her smile fell a bit. "I'm so sorry for your loss Lindsay. I'm glad to see you've got the support of your friend here. But, as much as it pains me to have to address this, I have to. With you being in the early stages… You… You have a choice. If you'd rather not keep the baby, I can arrange for the procedure as soon as you'd like. Otherwise, I'll get together all the prescriptions you'll need to continue on in your pregnancy. So I'll let you make that call, though I'd suggest making it soon. It was lovely to meet both of you." Dr. Sweeney finished as she offered her hand to both of them.

Lindsay was silent until they reached the lobby. "Take me to visit Dan?" She asked suddenly, her hand on Don's arm.

He gave her a soft smile and a small nod.

The ride to the cemetery was comfortably quiet.

Don stole several glances at the solemn woman sitting next to him in a futile attempt to figure out what she was thinking.

Finally, he pulled into the small cemetery and eased into a parking spot.

He watched as she unbuckled her belt and grabbed her coat.

"Want company?" He offered softly.

She gave him a small, sad smile and shook her head. 

"I've got to do this on my own. I won't be long." She promised as she slid from the vehicle.

"Take all the time you need. I'll be right here." He assured her.

Again, she nodded and headed down the row towards Danny's grave.

She could find his grave in her sleep, that's how many times she'd gone there.

Lindsay heaved a heavy sigh as she came to a stop in front of his grave.

"I'm pregnant Dan." She told the headstone as she knelt down next to it.

She reached over and traced the letters in his name as the tears she'd been holding in all day finally dripped down her face.

"The doctor says I have to decide whether or not I want to go through with it. I don't know what to do Danny." She whispered brokenly as her tears moistened the grass below her fingers.

"God, why can't you just be here? Then I wouldn't have to worry about this. You'd have been a great father Dan." She told him, her fingers now dragging along the ground where he was buried.

"Don went with me. He's been great Danny. If it weren't for him… I don't think I'd have made it. I… I think he wants me to have the baby Dan. He keeps telling me he'll be there for me and the baby, that I don't have to do this alone. I feel so lost Dan." Her hands clutched at her coat as the wind picked up.

Don watched from the car as she spoke to Danny. His heart broke for the small woman kneeling on the ground in front of the headstone of the man she lost.

He watched as her hands absently traced over his headstone.

Finally, she stood. She kissed her hand and pressed it to his name, her head bowed.

She looked up, squared her shoulders, and made her way to the truck.

He slipped from the car and met her on the passenger side.

No words were needed as he pulled her car door open for her.

She smiled her thanks as he helped her into the cab.

Lindsay watched as he rounded the front of the vehicle.

He paused at one point and turned his gaze towards Danny's grave.

A long moment passed before he nodded slightly towards his fallen friend's grave and got back into the vehicle.

They were halfway to her apartment before she spoke.

"I'm keeping it."

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I've had Glee fever so I've been writing that recently! But I didn't forget about you guys! As always, thanks for all the love you send my way!


	10. On My Own

Summary: What if "Snow Day" went differently?

Pairing: FM/DL

Time Frame: End of Snow Day and after

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine.

You're Still Here

Chapter 10: On My Own

_3Months Along_

"Lindsay? You ok in there?" Mac rapped his knuckles against the private bathroom in his office.

She'd been right in the middle of de-briefing him on her latest case when her face drained of color and she made a beeline for the bathroom in the corner.

Her response to his question was the sound of her stomach emptying the contents of her breakfast into his toilet.

A weak "Sorry." Came through the door a moment later.

_4.5 Months Along_

Pregnancy wasn't going a joyous occasion for Lindsay. It was difficult, carrying the child of a man she'd only experienced the briefest of relationships with before losing him entirely.

So, it went without saying that she had her moments. She had plenty of them, in fact. Being four and a half months pregnant, she felt entitled to those moments.

And to their credit, her co-workers had tried to be there, to help her through this, they really had, but as it turns out pregnancy = moody Lindsay. And moody Lindsay insisted on doing everything herself, in her own way. Her insistence bothered everyone, but no one was as annoyed as Flack was.

"You take your vitamin this morning?" He asked as he stepped into her office to drop off a case file.

She rolled her eyes as she accepted the file. "Yes, I had it with breakfast." She answered huffily as she flipped the folder open and began sifting through the paperwork.

"What'd you have?" He questioned, leaning forward on her desk.

"Toast and an apple." She muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

He didn't budge. He stayed exactly where he was and waited.

"Fine. I had two donuts and a huge cup of decaf." She admitted sheepishly.

Flack clucked his tongue at her and shook his head. "You can do better than that Monroe." He informed her as he dropped a paper sack on her desk and scooted out the door.

She waited until he'd disappeared from sight before she tore at the bag.

It was a low fat, whole grain bagel with low fat cream cheese, a baggie of grapes and a bottle of water.

It was the absolute last thing she wanted but it was her snack time so she dug in, demolishing the snack within minutes.

_5 Months Along_

"Hey Linds? Umm… Are you aware that your boots don't match?" Hawkes questioned, stopping her in the hall on her way to Mac's office.

She looked down at the flat boots and groaned. She could barely see her feet, her bump seeming even larger on her small body.

He was right. They were the same color but not the same style.

"Damnit." She muttered tiredly. Mornings killed her. She never slept well and as a result, her mornings tended to be fairly agonizing.

Hawkes offered her a small smile. "How bout I run and get your sneakers? I know you keep an extra pair here." He offered kindly.

She smiled, her eyes red and watery. It didn't take much to get her hormones going these days.

"Thanks Hawkes, but I think I can-" She started to tell him she could handle it but he cut her off.

"Yes, I know you can manage, but let me, please. You look exhausted. Go sit down, I'll bring the shoes."

For once, she didn't fight it. She nodded and sunk onto a plush bench in the hallway.

_6.5 Months Along_

"Congratulations Ms. Monroe. It's a girl!" Dr. Sweeney pronounced happily.

It had all sort of been a blur after that. She was having a girl. A little girl.

Somehow, knowing the sex of the child made it all feel just a little bit more… Real. Perhaps that was why she'd been more than just a little ambivalent about finding out the gender. It wasn't that she wanted to be surprised, it was that knowing meant accepting.

A warm hand closed over her shoulder, jolting her from her thoughts.

"Congratulations Linds. I'm sure she'll be beautiful." Don said, his voice warm and sweet. Lindsay suddenly found herself more than grateful for his presence at the appointment.

She offered him a small smile and squeezed his hand lightly. She felt a twinge in her heart when Don squeezed back. It was like he knew… It should've been Danny standing next to her, smiling widely at the ultrasound, not Don.

Don's hand closed around her upper arm as she maneuvered herself off the table and to her feet. He turned as she adjusted her clothes.

He barely caught her brushing away a tear from her face as he turned to face her.

"Take me to see Danny?" She asked softly.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Of course."

She knelt down at his grave twenty minutes later.

"It's a girl. Dan, I'm… We're… It's… It's a girl. I just… I thought you should know."

Flack watched as she pressed her fingers to her lips before touching them to the headstone.

As she moved towards him, he slid from the car and moved to her side of the vehicle.

Silently, without even a glance, he opened the door, took her arm and helped her in.

The drive to Lindsay's home consisted only of two sentences.

"I wasn't even going to find out, you know." She told him, her eyes trained on the gray skyline passing by her window.

He slid a hand over to hers and twined their fingers. "I know."

_9 Months Along_

"Not you too."

Lindsay was staring into the reflective lenses of Don's sunglasses.

"What? I thought you could use some company. It's cool out today, huh?" He said, hoping to steer the conversation in another direction.

"Don't talk about the weather to me. I know you and I know what you're doing. It was Mac yesterday, Stella on Tuesday and Sid on Monday. I'm not a glass doll. I won't break." She snipped as she accepted the hot tea from him.

"No but your water might." He snarked back as he guzzled down a gulp of coffee.

She resisted the urge to grin at his clever turn of phrase.

"Think you're funny huh? You know what's funny? I can't see my feet unless I sit down and hold them out in front of me or look at them in the mirror. I can't turn around in the shower without feeling like I might get stuck. I can't drop anything anything cause I can't bend down and pick it up. The other day I dropped my phone and was an hour late to work. Also, I can't shave my own legs anymore!" She ended, her cheeks pink from the chill in the air and perhaps maybe from her little blow up.

Flack just wrapped an arm around her. "If you need help with that last one, you just let me know." He felt her tense under him the moment he said it.

He squeezed his eyes shut and winced. That was SO not what he should have said. Sure, it might've been what he WANTED to do, but he shouldn't have expressed it.

She turned, her mouth open, ready to rip him a new one when her eyes widened. A second later, he heard a soft gasp and a slight splash.

He glanced down and with a smirk and a sigh, he slipped his phone from his pocket. "Yeah, Stell, meet us at the hospital, Crankypants is going into labor."

A/N: Gone but not forgotten! I'm going to try my hardest to keep updating, and more often. I'm sorry the world of Glee consumed me. I have a lot of stories going, plus working two jobs, plus planning a wedding. (You can see my wedding website on my profile page, shameless plug I know)

ANYWAYS, tell me what you think!


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